How Jo and Joanne fell in love, and survived a spinal injury

Joanne Pham met Jo Hyeon Yoon at a dance battle.

She was an event photographer; he was competing.

It didn't take long for the pair, both scientists by trade, to fall in love — with Joanne supporting Jo after a life-altering accident.

Where did you first meet?

Joanne: There were twirls, flips, people moving in a synchronised way, people dressing really cool, like the people on Rage music videos.

And there I was in a flannel shirt and a pink wig, coming from another convention [I was cosplaying]. Someone pointed Jo out to me as the organiser of Destructive Steps.

Jo: I do remember seeing a pink wig and wondering who you were.

Joanne: Flash forward to when I had taken this photo of Jo at a different battle in Marrickville. I'd posted those photos that evening, and he reached out to me and asked me out to dinner.

What was the first date like?

Joanne: When I heard him laugh, I think I fell in love.

Jo: She was so different to other people I'd met. She's very understanding, open-minded, quirky, and funny.

Joanne: He really loved science, he loved all the geeky things. He's a fan of Star Wars. I'm a fan of Lord of the Rings.

Everything just became began to click. It was like putting IKEA furniture together without the instructions.

How did your family react to your relationship?

Joanne: My family are the back of my hand. Being that I'm the eldest daughter of a Vietnamese family that migrated to Australia, I'm everything to them.

But I remember looking at my mum as if I'd broken her heart [when I told her about Jo, who is Korean].

My dad was really scared. He was thinking about how Jo didn't speak Vietnamese, didn't eat our food, didn't watch our TV, didn't listen to our music, didn't understand how important our ancestors were to us.

I tried reassuring him that there were many similarities between our cultures. But until he saw it for himself, he wasn't going to back down. It was a steady and tough uphill from there.

Can you tell me about the accident in 2014?

Jo: I was practising [breaking] at night-time, and I was just tired and my beanie got caught on the ground.

And my head sort of stayed in one position and my whole body rotated around. So it was like someone trying to snap my neck.

And for a really long moment I couldn't feel anything in my body from my chin down. I looked over, all I could do was just move my eyes and my mouth.

Joanne: Jo texted me afterward and he told me about this feeling of not being able to move his limbs and feeling paralysed from the neck down, until his body came back.

I remember being so scared. I remember in that moment I envisioned our lives together in the worst possible scenario. And I still wanted it to happen. But gosh, was it going to be hard?

Jo: The doctor recommended me to get an MRI and a CT scan. I got the MRI and then went to the neurosurgeon.

And what had happened was my disc, in my C5-C6, had herniated into my spinal cord.

What happened on the day of the surgery?

Joanne: I remember the day that he went in, I was terrified. I couldn't focus. I couldn't do anything at work.

Jo: The first person I saw when I woke up was Joanne. She was next to me in the hospital.

The doctors had removed the disc and put a bit of bone from my hip between the C5–C6 section of my spine.

Joanne: I sat in the chair and I looked at him. His face was swollen. I could see the incision, and the doctor said everything would be fine. He would be okay. And I remember telling myself, "Don't cry, don't cry, don't cry." And I did a little bit. because I was so happy.

I remember him getting up, saying his first words, smiling, taking him home, making him beef noodle soup because soup was the only thing he could eat.

How did your family come to accept your relationship?

Joanne: My mum called me while I was out with friends [in 2018]. She asked where I was, and about Jo.

I was taken aback. She said that I was older now and that they trusted me.

For the longest time, I thought I would have to keep this secret, you know, buried in a box covered in concrete, six feet under the ocean. And what a pleasant surprise it was when my parents decided to dig that box up and say they were prepared to look inside it.

I went home that day and said to Mum, "Are you sure?" 

And she said, "Yes, we're sure." And she told him to come over.

Jo: I was very nervous.

When you go to meet your partner's parents for the first time, you also bring a gift. Usually it's either fruit or alcohol, in a nice packaging and box. And you wear nice clothes. I got a haircut.

Joanne: And when my maternal grandma rocked up in her little walking stick and her Vietnamese outfit, I knew my dad had it coming.

That day, Jo had learned how to say thank you and he said it to my grandma. She said he had a really good accent.

It really lightened the mood … and that was somehow the first step of accepting Jo.

How are you now?

Jo: After I got the surgery there were about two or three months where I couldn't really dance at all. And I just had to rebuild my body. It was a really long road.

But I think that time getting that surgery and having to rebuild my body was quite humbling and important to me. It made me really appreciate things and appreciate a lot more about life.

Joanne: Any issues after surgery he had about his body and not being able to move around as much, I just thought to myself, "We're over the hard part. Everything from now is going to be OK." And it really was.

Quotes have been edited for clarity and brevity.